Cheering Junior – part 2

THE $ COST
 
At first it’s relatively easy. At least, it is if you are a member of that increasingly endangered species the American middle class. You load junior into your van ($30,000). You make sure junior is wearing his/her cleats ($75), socks ($15), shin guards ($20), replica kit ($60) and with a basic first aid kit ($15) you drive ten miles three times a week ($15 gas) to an U6 soccer camp/class ($150 tuition).
 
COACH v PARENTS
 
Once there you will be told by the coach with varying degrees of tact, or not, that he is the coach and that coaching from the sidelines is not allowed. Your struggle to want to take over the coaching job will grow as time goes by. We all want to help our kids. We all know what’s best for them. Whether this is more difficult for the proud Dad intent on doing his bit to give the world the next Landon Donovan to keep his pearls of coaching wisdom to himself than the Mom who’s used to always knowing best. Several soccer Dads told me that it was definitely the Moms who were the most vocal.
 
So Mom and Dad alike will be under strict instructions to stand, biting your tongue and watch as their little pride and joy hares around flailing and kicking in the middle of a small clump of kids playing pineapple ball.
 
North Carolina ex-pat Englishman Mick Hughs told me that once while watching his eight year old son Evan’s team being coached he just had to make his opinion known as to the coach’s incompetence. The coach marched over to him and somewhat foolishly demanded to know what made Mick think he knew so much about the rules of the game. “I just looked him in the eye,” Mick recalls, “and told him, because I’m a forty two year old Englishman. There was no arguing with that.”
 
Whether you possess a European or South American advantage when it comes to at least appearing to know more about the game’s finer and fouler points than the average homegrown parent, it is a fact that your behavior on the sideline as a parental spectator will be directly affected by the skill level of junior on the field. If junior is displaying basic passing and either goal scoring or saving abilities, any verbal assaults launched by you at the game will be judged at worst as eccentric. But if you kid has two left feet and the mobility of a potted plant any opinions you voice will be seen by the coach as a pain in the ass. And he already has more than enough problems to contend with on the field, so beware.
 
to be continued …